Month: July 2008

Goodbye work

I can’t let the summer end without this last post. By summer, I mean the summer in Singapore. Of work, banks and contradictions. Tomorrow is my last day. I’ll be exaggerating if I say it’s been a roller coaster ride. It’s been pretty smooth actually, at least on the outside. My head has been full of conflicts though, from one moment to the next. I have come a long way since I talked about survival, surviving work in a bank. I have grown out of it, the phobia, the fear and the bias. I know though, that what I had thought all along is true, but I have come to realize that I don’t have the right to judge. It is true that most people are motivated by money. Yet, they are some of the nicest people I’ve met in Singapore. In fact, they’ve almost changed my opinion of the country, in the context of racism. I’ll probe into that topic another time, but for now, I am, as always, in two minds. I can’t say if …

Gossip girl(s)

There are two kinds of people. Those who create the gossip and those who feed on it. I had never thought that so many people could be so interested in the lives of those they barely even know, let alone care about. Who slept with who, who fought with who, who started the rumor, who became a victim, who betrayed, who cried, who was the bitch. Who cares?  My best guess is it’s a part of our human psyche. It gives us a sense of pleasure and satisfaction in knowing that there are others out there, more messed up than us, maybe even more miserable.  And whoever said gossip was a thing of the women should come meet my friends!

Nostalgia

Music, smells, colors. Some things can just sweep us far far away, to the past, to the life that once was, to the dreams we dreamed.  We didn’t realize it then, we don’t realize it even now, but we’re constantly forming so many associations with the world around us, with the people we know, with the places we go to, with the things we do. These things are more subtle than memories, something deeper maybe, and they show up at the most unexpected of times and places. They make us stop and think and wonder and watch our own life passing by. “Slow down, Don’t dance so fast. Life is short, The music won’t last.”

Trilympics

20 kilometers in a day, 24 hours without sleep, for the cause that was Trilympics. It was a fund raiser-cum-awareness event for disabled athletes in Singapore, who are heading out soon to Beijing for the Olympics. In support of the cause, Trilympics aimed to get people to run / spin the distance equivalent to one round around the world within 24 hours. A distance of 40,000 km, from 1 pm on Saturday to 1 pm on Sunday. The turn-out was decent, and in total, we accumulated a distance of 36,000 km! I did my .06% by running (and partially walking) 20 km. It took close to 5.5 hours and I couldn’t do it again. Instead of sleeping away the Saturday night, we were out on the track at 5 in the morning. Insanity really. Even more insane was the number of people out there with us. Not just Trilympics volunteers and participants, but regular runners / joggers / walkers. People in the age range of 40 to 75! Old, stooping, frail. Yet motivated. I wonder …

Cadbury

For a month and a half now, all I’ve been hearing is insurance, investments, whole life plans and visa debit payment! Today, I go to Cadbury and honestly, it was like music to the ears: Their business structure is segregated into 3 divisions: Chocolate, gum and candy! WOW. What motivation! Who wouldn’t want to get up each day and go to work there? Yummy.  At the Cadbury Asia Pacific office, the walls are all purple, inspired obviously by Cadbury’s Purple Reign. It’s classy, luxurious and very welcoming. Despite a corporate-ish atmosphere, the place looks so much more alive and happening than your usual office setting. I really felt this strange sense of belonging about the place. I hope someday, I’ll get to work there.  Until now, I had looked at Cadbury only from a consumer’s perspective. It’s one of those brands that we all grew up with. With the Dairy Milks and the Perks and the Five Stars and of course, Bournvita. Today, however, I went through this transition and started to look at Cadbury from a …

stressed

I’ve consciously seen myself through a lot of emotions. Anger, sadness, frustration, even depression. I don’t think I’ve ever known though, what stress feels like. It’s probably not even an emotion, more like this state that I’ve been in for a couple of weeks now. I guess it’s stress because I can’t think of anything else that could explain it. I am sub-consciously always thinking of something that I’m consciously trying to avoid. My concentration levels have reached quite a low. I often have to read a page of this book I’m reading, twice. The first time it’s just text, with my head imagining other things. I’m at a weird place socially too. I want to hang out with lots of people and talk to them about lots of things. Yet I try my best to keep my social interaction to the minimum each day. I am always torn between choices, more now than ever. I can’t seem to think straight. It’s more mood-swings every day. Sometimes, I can’t even figure out myself what I’m …

Of career and stuff

Lately, I’ve been feeling rather preoccupied with a lot of things. The uncertainty of the future mostly. There are a lot of things I need to think about and figure out, but I’m just trying to put them away for as long as I can. I know I’ll have to face them sooner than later, and sooner would probably be better too. I’m trying hard to look at them with a sense of adventure. I want to look forward to how my life might change, the possibilities, the opportunities and all of that. But some things are getting in the way, mostly laziness and this hidden little wish to keep things the way I’ve gotten used to them.