We live our lives in phases. At the end of each phase, we pack our bags, gather our memories and move on. Just like that.
So, this is my last week in college. 3 classes to go, 1 presentation, 2 exams. That’s it. The end of college, the end of student life for me. I’m moving on. And the gravity of it is not hitting me. There is no nostalgia, not yet anyway. I don’t feel a sense of discontinuity that the future promises to bring. The next few years are going to be radically different from the last 20. I know that, and yet, somewhere within, I can’t seem to acknowledge it. I guess it will come with time. Right now, I could equate myself with some cold-hearted soul who is ready to trash the last 3.5 years and never look back. It’s my last week in college and I don’t feel anything.
I wonder sometimes if things could’ve been different. If I had studied in Delhi (paid 6000 Rs a year, oh my dear money), I would’ve graduated in July this year, and as my friend very aptly put it, escaped the whole damned recession. I’d probably have a job, people would’ve had lower expectations, and there would’ve been much less pressure. Well, who knows? I might just as well have hated my life. Anyway, this is not a time for cognitive dissonance. It’s a time for reminescence. The 3.5 years have done me good. I would do it over again, just for the people I’ve met, the friends I’ve found, the lessons I’ve learnt, the mistakes I’ve made. It still, however, feels like I’m not ready to reminisce just yet, ike it’s not all over yet, like there’s more to come.
Maybe tomorrow will feel differently and more human!