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stressed

I’ve consciously seen myself through a lot of emotions. Anger, sadness, frustration, even depression. I don’t think I’ve ever known though, what stress feels like. It’s probably not even an emotion, more like this state that I’ve been in for a couple of weeks now. I guess it’s stress because I can’t think of anything else that could explain it. I am sub-consciously always thinking of something that I’m consciously trying to avoid. My concentration levels have reached quite a low. I often have to read a page of this book I’m reading, twice. The first time it’s just text, with my head imagining other things. I’m at a weird place socially too. I want to hang out with lots of people and talk to them about lots of things. Yet I try my best to keep my social interaction to the minimum each day. I am always torn between choices, more now than ever. I can’t seem to think straight. It’s more mood-swings every day. Sometimes, I can’t even figure out myself what I’m in the mood for. There are so many fleeting thoughts that I can’t keep track of. I’m feeling restless, even now, and I’m craving for things I don’t really want. I can spend hours staring into space and not register a single thought. I’m trying to run away from so many things, knowing all the while that they’ll chase me till the end. It’s overwhelming. I go to sleep every night hoping for a miracle. That tomorrow won’t be.

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After 7 years of quitting my full-time corporate job and travelling the world, I've written a book - called The Shooting Star - about my journey. This book of untold travel stories charts my adventures from the cubicle to the road, and from small-town India to remote corners of the globe. Limited copies are now available for pre-order on Amazon and Flipkart. Drop me a note if you end up pre-ordering yours today! Connect with me on Instagram/Twitter @shivya.

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