Somewhere deep within, I feel a quiet longing. When I brace my ailing heart to say goodbye to a place I’ve come to love. When I’m filled with adrenalin by the uncertainty of where the road will take me next. When the soles of my feet hurt from days of traveling. When I feel my feet itch from being in the same place too long. On days good and bad, warm and cold, happy and sad. I feel a quiet longing for home.
9 years ago, I left Dehradun, my home of 17 years, in search of freedom. I didn’t know it then, but that was as close as I might ever get to the illusive feeling of being home.
I lived in Singapore for six years, all the while harboring an irrational love for the idea of India. I moved to Delhi for two years, but could never keep myself from dreaming of the road. The time spans keep getting shorter, the longings more erratic.
The road is my home now, has been for five months. Now that my soul feels restless again, where am I to go?
I don’t long for the homes I’ve left behind. Nor for the temporary ones I find along the way.
Maybe, I long just for the idea of home. One that never was, and may never be.
And I might not be the only one.
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Welcome to my blog, The Shooting Star. I’ve been called a storyteller, writer, photographer, digital nomad, “sustainability influencer,” social entrepreneur, solo traveller, vegan, sustainable tourism consultant and environmentalist. But in my heart, I’m just a girl who believes that travel – if done right – has the power to change us and the world we live in.
It’s all gonna be okay. You need a change of environment for sometime.
Thanks Nikhil; I think living with this incomprehensible longing is a way of life too.
From the rearview mirror we all learn that its in these restless moments that we create pearls out of sand grains 🙂
So beautifully put in one sentence Elita; and this post explains everything ounce of nervous energy I have at my workdesk everyday 🙂
Hopefully some day soon, the body and the mind shall both find peace 🙂
Such a wonderful thought, Elita!
Peace is hard to come by, Sanket, but I hope you’ll be closer to it soon enough 😉
Remember! …You have a “home” here…:)
Thanks Roberto, I’ll show up soon 😉
You need to return home for a while. 🙂
The road is my home 🙂
You are definitely not the only one who feels that way. As someone who has split time between the US – where I grew up – and India – where I worked for some time – for the last 8.5 years, I am constantly in a flux of feeling homesick for the other place and forever feeling that I’m both always at home and yet never at home. It’s a feeling that never goes away, and I like to think it’s because I’ve made a home in more than one place, which I’m going to guess is probably the same for you. It’s a testament to the connections that you’ve made, the friendships that you’ve forged, and the adventures that you’ve had that “home” is simply where you hang your hat. And sometimes, it’s best to leave one home behind for another. Wherever you end up, wherever you’re happy — that’s home, for however long or short a time it may be.
Safe travels, and I look forward to seeing where “home” is next for you.
You hit the nail on the head, Veena. I’ve already made 3 new homes since this post 😉 Trying to find joy in this strange longing for home; I hope you do too!
Pico Iyer also talks about ‘home’ in his essay ‘Why do we travel?’
I love it. Thanks for reminding me to read it again, Satya!
I was thinking of something similar a couple of weeks back, though my longing was for a place away from home, Estonia,where I traveled to last year.
Here are two more words to help you find the right shade of your nostalgia 🙂
– Sehnsucht (German)
– Saudade (Portugese)
Great to see you’ve continued travelling and blogging. All the best 🙂
I love both the words; glad there are words to describe these incomprehensible feelings. Thanks for sharing! I hope you go back to Estonia soon. I’ve started going back to some of the places I really loved on my earlier travels, after fighting the perpetual conflict to go somewhere new, and it helps with the saudade feelings I think 🙂
“Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.” —Matsuo Basho
What a beautiful thought. Thanks for sharing it, Eddy.
sometimes. all you need is partner ….. doesn’t matter where u travel.. as long as you are travelling with your partner. home is where your heart truly belongs. And sometimes it happens that you are yet to find your true home :). till then cheers and stay lively 🙂
The trouble is, my heart belongs to so many places (and people) 😉
Amen to that…! 🙂
Hiraeth… Damn. Aasu coming 🙁
There’s some strange sort of joy in the longing too!
I guess some places can feel like home as soon as we get there while we can also live in a place and it never feel like home. A though provoking post Shivya…
Absolutely Pete; the challenge is to find the former.
Welcome to our home…
Very true ! While we travel, we have so many places that we call home..I often feel that with places I haven’t been to n feels like it’s my home n that feeling pushes me to pay a visit… But nomadic life is filled with learnings
Damn Shivya ur just pure bliss. whatever you write is jus sooooo soothing. God bless you. May u continue to be an inspiration to many. muahhh
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